Monday, September 29, 2008

Just... Asking...

Sacrifice...

How do you find that word?

Love...

How do you show it?

Learn...

In what way?

Care...

To whom?

Forgive...

Then? Willing to forget?

Live...

Can you to the fullest?

Rest...

Will there be a time for that?

Cry...

Oh will you ever let them know the reason why?

Laugh...

Without reason?

Travel...

To where?

...................................................................................................................

So many questions... so many reasons... yet nobody really understands it that much...

How sad is that???

just asking,
AeraH

Friday, September 26, 2008

Never Fades

Glezie is my best friend since I was in grade three. She was new in my school back then and of course, as a typical “stranger” in the place, she doesn’t know anyone. She is quiet most of the time and lonely. I am not saying that as a child, I am that super friendly but I admit that of all fellows in there, I was the first one who approached and have had the courage to talk to her. From then on, our friendship blossomed and we certainly became the closest. I am welcome to their family especially to her mom whom I found very cool and sweet. She is welcome to mine as well. We visit each other’s house especially during occasions such as birthdays. We shared the same passion, in music, we both sing, we are both religious and… well, cute. There are just some differences physically because I have wavy dark hair, and she got golden brown. I have big eyes and she got that of a Chinese. I am super thin and she’s sexy. I think she is also fairer than me. In short say, she looks better than I physically (but I’ve got more brains, hehe!) Oh well, we are also part of the girls scout team, school band (we play lyre and recorder), we are actresses in school plays, speech choir members and church choir members. We are this besties that people can hardly make us apart. If there’s no sitting arrangement, we are seated together definitely or at least next to each other. We eat lunch with our other friends… And we have our theme song… For You I Will by Monica. My favorite moments with her includes… uhmmm… the times we danced ballet to the A Whole New World song, we danced to the Barbie Girl song, the times we sing each other a song and the times we played badminton, Chinese garter and hula hoops.
It was sad when the graduation day came. I know we will go on separate ways already… you know, we are going to attend different institutions for high school. I am going to Saint Mary’s Academy and she’s going to Union Christian College. It was sad. There’s no cell phone yet that time but we have land line. They don’t. I missed my best friend so much that I found it difficult to adjust my high school life without her by my side. Luckily, our brothers were classmates in the same elementary school we attended and they became our channels to continue communicating even if we are far from each other. We exchanged letters… but, I didn’t know what happened. It just stopped. I tried my very best to keep in touch no matter what because I can’t afford to lose my best friend whom I have shared a lot of things. So during summer vacation, I went and visit her to their home. I believe our friendship remains but… I felt there’s a little changed already. If before, I talk about her and she talks about me, now it’s not. We caught each other’s words talking about other people, actually the new people we’ve met in high school previously. It’s not about us any longer. It’s about “them” now. I think that my absence was being replaced by some others she called the UCC best friends. It hurts to know I wasn’t just the only one anymore. She’d found new friends, and eventually, new best friends.
I tried to accept that in life, certain things happen and we need to acknowledge them. Just like way back, in our story, we shared the same world at first. But then we separated and learned to share our world to other people. She found new people in my absence. And I admit I found new ones in her absence as well. I don’t think that it is sad to lose my position in her life as the only one. I think instead that it is great to share my position in her life to others. It feels great that there are so many of us. I realized just now that I’m still the luckiest though, because I am the original.
I kept the letters and cards she gave to me. It was sweet to read them once in a while. I thought that our friendship is worth it even at the present that we totally lost in touch. Glezie will always be a special friend I will treasure deep down in my heart. Like her, I have shared my world to others and this time, I have few friendships I can consider bests too. There’s just this one thing about me and Glezie. We may not see each other anymore, but I’m sure that our friendship “never fades.” Remember, once a friend will always be a friend. Or might say once a best friend, will always be a best friend.

Friends for eternity,
AeraH

Reminiscing the Past

Reminiscing the Past (Looking Back and Dreaming)
When I was in high school, I have met certain people I could never forget. They were amazing that I have to laugh or at least smile all by myself when I remember them. High school… I’m sure will never be that a lot of fun without them, especially you know, that I attended Saint Mary’s Academy, a private Christian high school. There’s a Reverend, nuns and of course, old maids who are super scary. But we are normal… like others, we were treated as normal as possible. We have school programs like Nutrition month, Intramurals, Prom night, Foundation and Family day, and Christmas Program. Thing is, we were much more exciting because we have additional occasions like the Rosary month, Assumption day, Mama Mary’s birthday, Our Lady of Concepcion day and we have novenas in the Cathedral every Wednesday. I love my high school because that’s where I felt real God’s presence in my life. Anyway, going back, I met certain people in there too that made my life so much cool.
First, I was friends with our Valedictorian. Oh, sweet. Charmaine’s not like the other brainy lads who doesn’t care to have fun. She’s actually a great friend who likes to hang out and go window shopping after lunch. She smiles a lot and even though other years doesn’t really impressed by her, she always believes in herself and definitely graduated with flying colors… oh… on graduation day… I am sorry my friend if you were able to read this but I can’t forget what happened to you. On graduation day… she fell down the stage while going down the stairs… hihi!
There’s Jonelfe… Of all, I have this love – hate relationship to her. One day we’re friends and just share secrets together. Then next day, we are war already. I have a big crush to her cousin whom I never met personally because he was in States. She just brings pictures of him. Haha! I even went to their house once just to watch a video of him on a wedding… She is a good actress, impersonator and a dancer though she stands only 4 feet ten inches… Isn’t it?
Then there’s Myra, a Roswell and N’Sync fan. He has a huge crush on Justin Timberlake as well as to Devon Sawa. She was the biggest among us, though she’d lost fats this time around. Their house is our favorite hang – out. There we watched movies and pig out foods prepared by her family. It was amazing we never turned as big as her… hehe! Ops… Like me, she also has the same passion on writing. She is pretty good… but I’m better, hmm…
Jeanette is next, like Jonelfe, she’s a good actress too. She won an award in a Declamation contest because of my declamation piece. I wrote the piece for her to perform and even the costume, we did it together. She is funny too. Actually, Jonelfe and she were so much alike. It’s just that she’s darker in complexion and her hair’s a little kinky… hoho! Small but terrible. I love her laughed.
Jo – Ann… the Mrs. Nick Carter (I was called Mrs. Aaron Carter)… What can I say about her? Oh her family owns a food place so like Myra, she eats a lot too. She’s next to Myra when it comes to body size. She laughs at small things and mind you, very loud like… Wahahahaha! You know when she started laughing it would be very difficult for her to stop already. Emergency! Because it’s like she’ll going to lose her breath… it’s pretty alarming. She’s the best in our group when it comes to math.
Sonny Rey, a guy… a gay… a girl. He’s into Joseph, one of the class’s Adonises. He, Julius and Arthur were good clowns in the room. When they combined their powers all together? Oh, everyone’s got bad stomachache after because of over laughing.
Then there’s also Armie, a boyish, yet still a good friend of mine. She was this one who calls me Mrs. Aaron Carter a lot. She was a big fan of Backstreet Boys. I think she has all the Cds, Vcds, poster and the like. She and Jennedy were former best friends (I think so) but there’s this one misunderstanding that made their friendship turned lame. I am not very sure but I thought they went back together on graduation day…
Anna Mae, a constant friend… She’s always there for me and she trusted me too much of her secrets. I knew sometimes she gets really mean but well, not to me, hehe! So I found that okay. I don’t remember any moment we argued about something or anything. She’s this friend of mine who looks up to me as not just a friend but a sister.
Jason is kind of different because even if he is friends with me, he belongs to another group. Anyway, still, we both shared a lot too back that time. He likes movies and Hollywood stars like I do. He is an actor and he’s mean too… haha! He’s frank and direct to the point when asked what he thinks about a person. He’s kind of scary when he comments… hihi! Beware!
Emma… she’s my idol. Hardworking, patient, kind, sweet, talented… our teachers often confused me with her. We have features that’s very the same. She changed her religion from Roman Catholis to Jehovah’s Witnesses which really surprised me when I found it out. From then on, when she talks, she talks with God’s love or anything that’s found in the bible. I was impressed by her but that still led me to questioning her new religion. We argued about it for a moment but eventually get over it. She made me realized that friendship got nothing to do with the religion, status in life and etc.
There’s Gracey, an active friend of mine who neglected unintentionally her studies because of extracurricular activities. She has charms that people liked. She attracts people that easy and she’s way too bubbly. I can say that it’s a regret because she used to top the class (Charmaine’s rival actually). But even though she didn’t graduate with an honor, she have received a lot of awards on the other hand which was kind something to be proud of as well.
Most, the person I will never forget in high school is my English teacher who discovered my talent on writing. Ma’am Czarina Roberonta. I remember the first time she read my poem composition out loud in front of the class. An elegy poem entitled “A Place for Tomorrow”… she was kind of touched by it and made her eyes watery. Nothing fell down but the emotion came out. From that moment on, my career as a writer was discovered and won two awards on my senior year. I won second prized on a Math – Sci composition and an essay composition on Linggo ng Wika. I wasn’t able to make it to the school newspaper because I wasn’t able to attend the sorting out process but my writings continued. I have written declamation pieces, scripts for plays, poems and essays. It was overwhelming… people loved it and my friends want it.
I have the passion of writing actually since I was a child. But I concentrated music in elementary that is why it didn’t work out for me that time. High school helped me to acknowledge back that talent and until now, I’m enjoying it. If before, my greatest dream is to be on Broadway, now there’s greater dream I want to achieve. That is, to be able to publish the bestselling book of all times. I have started so many novels now, but I have had finished only one. The Charms Effect. ^^

Continuing the dream,
AeraH

Secret Admiration

Do you friends ever felt admiration to someone but you just can't tell it to him because... maybe you're friends with him and that you are afraid that if you say it so, it's gonna be the end of friendship already? Or in the simpliest reason -> he's just so completely a stranger you meet along the way like... always... You don't really know him and that of course, he don't really know you as well... oh, sad... But let's take the first reason i mentioned because it's the most common one... Let's say, that secret admiration is offered to none other than, your "guy friend"... "closest of all" or might say, your very "best guy friend"... The worst is that you have this feeling that he feels the same way too... How can you express that admiration with that fear inside of you? Oh well, write it in a poem! ... I know it's not the best way but it will make you feel better, at least.

I Bet

I bet he knows how I feel for him
But he doesn't care, so he ignores it still
I bet he knows and it's killing me
It's hurting and burning inside of me

I bet he knows I'm willing to wait
For us to be, more than just friends
I bet he knows, I'm patient and kind
And that he will always be, in my heart and mind

I bet now, as I write this poem
He'll be able to read this all alone
And I bet he'll realize one thing or two
That I'm all he needed, for his dreams to come true

hearts,
AeraH

Dedicated To All Broken Hearted Out There

This poem is especially dedicated to all broken hearted people out there... I feel your pains, in some way, hehe! Oh, before... Long ago... Anyway, read this out...

I Thought

I thought you're for real, when you said you care
But now calling my name, you won't even dare
You disappeared suddenly, after saying your goodbye
You find it easy to move on, and... did you ever cry?

I thought you're not like anyone else
Who plays the game and give up if tensed
Because this time, you're not far of being a loser
You seems so happy, yet still so bitter

I thought you'll going to stay here forever
But you ruined the plan and declared it's over
Now I know, saving the best for last is wrong
For in the first place, you're not even the best at all

with love,
AeraH

I Learned

I learned...
That you can't have everything you want
But you can have what you need
You can't pleased everybody
But you can be the best that you can be
You can't have all the love in the world
But you can continue sharing yours
You can't always make yourself happy
But you can do something to make someone merry
You can't always always live and die at an old age
So we have to enjoy life early
You can lose what's on your mind
But your heart will always find
You can forget to offer a smile
But people around will give it to you

I learned...
That life is too short
So we play games in the court
We won't always win
Sometimes, we went losing
But we have to be sport
Whether we're number one or fourth
We rule in our own way
We enjoy what we play
And most important of all,
I learned...
We learned...^^

hugs and kisses,
AeraH

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Need to Come Out and Shine

Everyone needs a time to come out, show their real selves and shine... I know it's sometimes difficult for the part of some people but you know what you can do? Just... give them the chance. Don't go stealing the spotlight of each and everyone. Some things you need not to forget is that you... you can't have all the time and you can't be the 'only one'. If what you want is to own everything, you can't be totally happy.

Remember that giving others some chance to shine is one of the many best things you can offer for the rest of your life. You could help them boost out their personalities, improve their beliefs in life and most, you can make them love themselves better than before.

There's no hard in life... we are only the ones making things difficult. If we remove our insecurities and selfishness, we will all shine. We will all be proud of ourselves and that, the most important of it all, we will all experience a moment on the spotlight - you know, our moment to show our REAL SELVES.

shine on your own way,
AeraH

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Fresh and New

Second Trimester's fast approaching and I bet everyone and everything will be fresh and new... I'm gonna see my friends again, Ate Jessica, Yeng, Ginger, Mae, Wella, Alyssa, Ji Hye, Seung Hyun, Chong Myung, Laarni, Keshia, Pearly, Jenny, Chera, Janet... etc. I must prepare myself this term because... killer Experimental Psychology will attack me... hehe!!! I can do it, I know, I trust myself...

Industrial Psychology and Physiological Psychology as well... I don't have a broad idea about all this but I know I will survive... Fight!!! Fight!!! Fight!!! (Because that's the way it is, there's no other choice you know, LOL!!!)

Psychology Society's doing well... Our President's been doing a great job and next term also, we will be having our Aquiantance Party... I am not sure if it's open to all (No?) Fine, exclusive for Psych Students only, sorry, hihi!!!

I decided to Double Major - English... I am taking English 13 this sem and I am so excited about it... My Professor adviced me to double major so I could be at the Dean's Lists... (I'm doing great in school you see, but the problem is that I lack units)... I can't get 18 units to be at the Dean's Lists because I am finish with my minors (I shifted from Nursing -> coz I hate it)... But even though now, I added English subject, still I am 14 units... Other English subjects conflicts with my Psych Major subjects and I can't sacrifice them... But let's see, I might add if there's a newly open schedule... I want to be in the Dean's Lists!!! Hehe!!!

I am half excited, half nervous to enter school once again... gee!!! But either ways, I am happy... Five semesters to go and then, finish!!! Yes!!!

See the "real world" soon, people!!!

air kisses,
AeraH